Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A New Perspective - Beauty and Cancer

My big sister, Becca, was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at the beginning of this year; she was 35 at the time of diagnosis.  Shock, sadness, fear, worry flooded my brain instantly. But a positive prognosis, countless doctors visits and treatments later, she is finished with chemo and about to embark on the next step of the journey - the double mastectomy.  

Shame on me for thinking that my sister would let this setback dull her sparkling personality.  She's never operated that way.  She became my role model throughout this experience - Becca will find a way to crack jokes and see the positive in the situation.  Still proclaiming her heart is "bursting" with emotion and happiness and joie de vivre, she didn't lose that outlook one single bit, or maybe just to express some annoyance that she couldn't go on an exotic vacation this year.  She's embraced this experience, even using a picture of her bald head as her Facebook profile picture. 

I thought a lot about whether or not I would have the courage to go sans wig/hat.  I can admit that I am vain at times.  Let's be real here, I love all things makeup and beauty.   We are talking way beyond hobby to full blown obsession.  But I don't resort to using makeup because I'm ashamed of how I look naturally or scared to go out in public without makeup.  I love discussing, applying, wearing makeup.  The very act of putting makeup on excites me; not because I want to hide my face, but because it's just plain fun.  I feel beautiful with or without makeup on, but indulging in my hobby obsession whenever I can gives me a different type of confidence.  It is more about being proud of the look I created on my face than feeling I need to cover up or hide myself.  So any opportunity to go to an event, whether it be at my local department store or Sephora or a workshop at our local cancer treatment center, I'm in.   

Becca invited me to join her at a workshop called, "Look Good, Feel Better" designed to help those undergoing cancer treatment learn techniques with skincare and makeup including proper sanitizing guidelines to reduce exposure to germs, to how to fill in sparse or lost eyebrows, style wigs, picking the right colors to accentuate their complexions, etc.  I thought it would be interesting and give me a fun night out with my sister, but I wasn't prepared for how I felt after the event that night.

Being one of the few guests in a room surrounded by some of the strongest, bravest and most inspiring women I've encountered is humbling to say the least.  I've experienced my sister's fearless attitude firsthand; she comforts us when we need it, but watching the other women lift each other up was beautiful and awe-inspiring.  From the mom wanting to learn how to do her makeup for her son's wedding to the young woman with a fresh, purple pixie cut asking about picking wigs, they were their own community and sisterhood.  I'm a big, ol' awkward ball of emotional messy goop, and there were many moments throughout the night when I wanted to tear up (even now as I write this), but these women didn't want me to cry for them, they didn't want my pity; they were joking and happy and excited which almost made me feel ashamed for wanting to cry for them.

Each participant received a bag filled to the brim with skincare and makeup goodies all donated by cosmetic companies.  As the participants were unpacking their bags, they (and I) were in awe over the brands - Estee Lauder, Lancome, Dior, Chanel, Clinique, IT Cosmetics, Smashbox, and your typical drugstore brands like Revlon, Physician's Formula, Simple, Maybelline, etc, and full size products to boot!  As the volunteer licensed instructors were beginning the first step in their demo, I'll admit that a cloud of jealousy quickly passed over me...and then I felt like an asshole.  Really Emily, jealous that these women get free products because they have cancer.  Would I want to have cancer to get free makeup products?  No...and I was so ashamed that I could even have a thought like that pass through my brain, no matter how fleeting... 

By the end of the demo, my sister had her eyebrows back and was so excited!  The instructors pointed out that she had made the biggest transformation of the night...not because the makeup hid her illness, yes, the Estee Lauder Double Wear foundation evened out her complexion, but I could see that she was feeling some sort of normalcy again.  Small things like an eyebrow pencil and a fun shade of lipstick brought out that spark in my sister's personality, she was even getting sassy saying we should go to a bar!  She was glowing and beautiful, and it wasn't only the makeup application doing that.  It was coming from within. 


  
Maybe I'm overthinking this...I tend to do that, but I strongly believe that makeup is about transformation; it doesn't have to be something shallow or make you feel ashamed of your looks.  It can enhance your natural beauty, make you feel "girly," give you confidence, help you feel like your old self, let you be a little daring one night.  The name and philosophy of the workshop - "Look Good, Feel Better" embodies how I feel about makeup and cosmetics.


I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to attend this event with my sister and witness those intimate moments of watching those women undergo their own transformations, even if just for a couple hours.  This experience has given me a wonderfully hopeful perspective on makeup and the possibilities that a little experimentation can hold.  You never know, something that seems insignificant (or even shallow to some) may turn out to have a greater impact that you could ever imagine.

PS. I thought it was exceptionally fitting that the mother of the groom received a gorgeous Chanel lipstick...cancer or no cancer, nothing makes you feel quite so glamorous as a Chanel lipstick!

To learn more about the "Look Good, Feel Better" program, please visit their website - http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/

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